A Flying Ant

All my life I thought that when I got married, I would drop my middle name, my maiden name would become my middle name, and my husband's last name would become mine.  I don't remember the first time someone suggested something different but I remember being very confused.  What do you mean your maiden name wouldn't just become your middle name?  How does that happen?  You mean, some people don't do it that way!?!?!

I thought it was just automatic and you somehow had to opt out of the name change.  Of course, this is a silly thought, but I am sure I was young and simply didn't know any better.  Now, however, I know better.   I know you can keep your middle name, maiden name, both names, or forgo any sort of name change at all.  Heck, my mother dropped her first name, her middle name is her "new" first name, her maiden name is her "new" middle name, and she took my father's last name as her own.  Nonetheless, I always assumed I would do what I thought was traditional and drop my middle name.

That is, of course, until I found out my last name and Ryan's last name combined remind me of a flying ant.  Ryan - don't worry, I'm not suggesting I won't be changing my name and this has nothing to do with your last name by itself but our last names together.  I'm not going to have a hyphenated last name and I know I will not introduce myself using all of my names, but I will always know that my middle name and last name remind me of a flying ant if I choose to go the "traditional" route.

What's a girl to do?

Keeping all of my names and adding Ryan's doesn't fix the problem as our last names would still be together at the end.  I thought about keeping my middle name and just switching out the last name but I don't know if I could do that.  It has never bothered me that one day I would give up my last name and take my husband's because I never thought I would really be giving it up, it would just be shifting.  But now, faced with the prospect of giving up my last name, well, I don't really want to do it.  It's been my last name my whole life and although my middle name has too, I always knew that it might one day leave me or I could have four names.  And so, one day shy of 7 months until the day until our wedding, I find myself asking, "Do I want to say goodbye to my really awesome last name for good or forever be a flying ant?"