Raised by a Yankee?

Say what you will, but in my own personal opinion, no one does etiquette or teaches manners quite like a true Southerner.  Yes, there are polished people that live up North and I'm sure there are lots of them that are much more aware of the rules than some in the South, but I still think that overall, it's just a little different down South.

My Momma raised me right and I know that elbows are not allowed on the table, I'm never to chew with my mouth open, and I can properly set the table.  However, in preparing for the wedding, I've been reading all about the etiquette of things and how things should be done properly.  I'm happy to report that I was aware of several of the rules and had been following them thus far.  But there are a few things that I may have, well, I just had no idea.  For example, did you know that whenever possible, all children aged 13 and older who are still living with their parents should get a separate invitation?  And the only time you should have a long veil for a daytime wedding is if you're having a formal wedding.  Oh, and a train is also only appropriate for a formal wedding.  Having a semi-formal function?  A long dress and short veil are appropriate.  And for an informal wedding, I'm going to have to get a new dress.  Pretty much the only thing I got right with my dress and the type of wedding I want to have is the fabric.

Then I hit the section on men's attire.  Oh.  Dear.  Goodness.  The guidelines that were provided blew my mind.  I learned about the origin of the tuxedo and all the different cuts of jackets and then I had to put the book away before I made myself crazy.

Ryan has threatened to throw my book away.  He doesn't understand why anyone would care about etiquette anyway and thinks we should just do what we want and as long as it's reasonable, we'll be fine.  The horror.  Sorry, but the invitations will be properly addressed by hand, appropriate significant others will be included on the guest list, and you better believe the wording on the invitations will be spot on.

There is a lot I know but I still have a great deal to learn.  And the fact I didn't know about the 13 year old rule on the invitations and my mother suggested I include dependent adult children (read children that are in college and still mostly at home) with their parents' invitation has shaken me to the core.  I'm terrified my mother may actually be a Yankee.  She did choose to live in Boston.  What kind of crazy person would do such a thing?  I'll let you be the judge.

All kidding aside (my poor mother, she really does have excellent manners and is mostly on top of just about everything), I'm not sure if the rules are antiquated, were made to be broken, or almost everyone knows them and will be judging like I've never been judged before.  I'm not talking about basic manners in everyday interactions but is it really necessary to send three invitations to the home of my aunt and uncle who have two children in high school?  Ignorance is one thing but I feel like now that I've read the book, I really don't have a good excuse for not doing everything the way it is supposed to be done.  I certainly don't need my great-grandmother, of Jackson, Mississippi, rolling in her grave.