No Going Back

It's official - we aren't eloping or having just the tiniest of weddings.  Save the Dates were mailed late Friday, the mailman picked them up on Saturday, and our guests should be receiving their Save the Dates as early as today.  As we were taking them to the mailbox, Ryan made a joke about how he thought I had been putting it off because I was thinking about calling off the engagement.  I reassured him there's absolutely no hesitation about marrying him; I had been waiting on a few addresses and I wanted all of them to go out at the same time.  I also knew once the stack of envelopes sitting on my coffee table was put put in the mail, our chance to quasi-elope was gone for good.  Wonderful man he is, he said he never wanted to elope and he didn't think I really wanted to either.  Pause.  Awkward silence.  Ryan repeated himself.  Pause.  "I was waiting for you to say you don't really want to elope," he said. 

I knew exactly what he was waiting for and we joked about it, but I've not-so-secretly always wanted to elope.  I'm still waiting on the Catholic Vegas option that allows my father to walk me down the aisle.  If only such a thing existed.  No muss, no fuss, just me in my white dress, straight off the rack, and our friends and family, having suddenly appeared out of nowhere, there to celebrate with us.  No floral arrangements to think about, ties to pick out, or cakes to taste and design.  Were it not for the fact I really love my family and could not imagine starting my new family with Ryan without the rest of our families, and the whole Cradle Catholic thing, I would be perfectly happy hitting up a justice of the peace at the nearest courthouse with no one but Ryan by my side.

Alas, the envelopes were put in locked drop boxes and I couldn't go get them even if I wanted to.  Those envelopes are in the care of the U.S. Postal Service, in mailboxes, or perhaps there's even on in your hands right now (not now as I'm typing, but now as you're reading).  Guess it's too late to turn back now.  Not that I really would turn back if I could.  I'm a Gemini, and while one side of me may want the Vegas Chapel or courthouse option, the other side of me can't wait to walk down the long, red aisle towards the love of my life, with all our friends and family there to celebrate with us.  This time, the more traditional twin won, and I'm glad she did.